An ocean between/where I am and where I want to be

you prayers in doubt / doubt not for me!


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OMG, I've become a nice person
Lola
tnsechick
It is so funny, writing here at LJ after being gone years, I really get to compare the me of before and me now. Of course I'm mostly the same--I know I sound the same in my casual style of writing here. But we have been through a lot in the interim, and, a bunch of stuff has happened--some bad and some good--just this Monday, Tuesday and Today, which gave me pause to think: you know what? I am a much nicer person than I used to be.

Not that I was horrible before. But I had more trouble trusting people and forming deeper friendships. I had a ton of acquaintances but didn't want them to help me with anything and they sure rarely asked for my help. Things are different that way today. Now I have a community of peers and we all help one another. It is a wonderful feeling.

But especially due to the events of this week, a moment ago I stopped and observed myself, and it just never hit me before how doggone nice I can be, and it is so easy, whereas years ago I was too busy being guarded and ready to take you on if you had the slightest thing against me.

I was too preoccupied and preprogrammed to expect the worst from people to allow the best in people to touch me.

?

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